10 Tips for Embracing Your Creativity: Don’t Let Impostor Syndrome Hold You Hostage
Last week I attended a webinar from one of the companies I absolutely love (won’t mention them since this is not a positive review time). The webinar addressed the notorious impostor syndrome and how to deal with it.
As a lot of people who know a thing or two, I too doubted whether publishing my thoughts had any value. And so, a while ago I did a little bit of research on why that might be on my own.
The person presented what he prepared, and except emphasizing how lucky they were and all the prestigious companies and university they worked at the room was full of questions. Questions from people like myself, who did not attend the top 100 universities, and didn’t work at top Nordic companies.
So I felt like I was denied the sweet soup that would feed me with strategies how to overcome a problem that affects 70% of us at least once.
I am taking the community duty and sharing some of the tips that helped me and may help you too because with great power comes great responsibility, right uncle Ben?
Let’s start with the basics.
What is impostor syndrome?
In case you have never come across the term, there is a sciencey definition, but I will cut to the chase. In short, if you are aware of your short comings, there is a high chance it will affect your self-doubt in a negative way.
In practice, some of the thoughts you might had about yourself:
‘’I am not good enough to be here.’’
‘’I am afraid that someone will find out I am not good enough.’’
‘’What if they will expose me for not knowing something?’’
‘’I don’t deserve this success.’’
‘’I am sure I am here because of a mistake.’’
‘’I’m not sure how I tricked everyone into thinking I am competent.’’
‘’I am afraid to speak up because I might be wrong.’’
And so on, you get the jazz.
But being your own bully does not have to mean anything. So here are other characteristics that might sound familiar:
Impostor cycle
This quick visual is maybe something you are familiar with already. It shows how you might perceive your success — a task where you received good feedback despite which you still deny it as a real ‘’success’’.
Thinking that hard work does not equal the real deal can also make you disregard success since you think about it as a standard that everybody has (which they don’t).
The need to be special or the best
Remember when you made a dunk and the other kid on the basketball team did 5? Or when you felt like you wrote the next Harry Potter story in tenth grade just to hear your teacher say it was mediocre? What about when you look at LinkedIn at people who are achieving more than you in much worse conditions?
We are constantly exposed to influences that are pushing us towards being the best at something that it can be downing when we feel we are not. The thing is, there is always going to be someone better from who you can learn and grow. Instead of doubting your skills, you should reverse the gaslighting thinking into growth thinking.
Perfectionism
Always moving forward can also mean that we get better and better and at the end of the tunnel, we reach flawlessness. Which means high standards and disappointment once our work moves up and down. Perfectionism can lead to disappointment instead of appreciation and set unhealthy unreachable goals. And let’s be honest, it’s subjective.
Fear of failure or success
Fearing to fail comes from an age-long association with negative consequences and judgment. Fear that if we do something wrong, we can lose our reputation or disappoint others. Instead, we should embrace failure and take it as a learning step forward instead of two backward.
Fear of success is also not unheard of. Some may associate success with increased pressure and expectations. Others might fear falling from grace a.k.a. not being able to maintain success or the exposure that comes with it. Judgment is present not only with failure but also a success, 100 people means 100 different opinions after all.
10 Tips how to get rid of impostor syndrome
Despite my maliciousness towards webinars that offer less than they could, I do think it was a time well-spent (I could do my nails instead of writing anything down).
However, that is not what I want you to take away from reading this article, so here are my 10 tips that can help you to work and get rid of your impostor syndrome.
- Talk to others — talk to family or friends that know you and your achievements. Psychohygiene and a little pep talk from someone else than yourself can open your eyes to how others perceive you.
- Self-reflect —star journali throw modesty out of the dictionary for a minute and reflect on even the small things you were able to do or get through. Each of us has unique experiences that only we get through.
- Stop comparing yourself to others — unfollow people you’ve been comparing yourself to. It is not “inspo" but the exact opposite.
- Focus on the ‘’what and why?’’ — what is it you want to achieve and why do you want to achieve it?
- Make a plan & commit to it — write down specific and manageable steps. Old fashion pen and notebook should do but in case you’re a digital potato Notion is free and super structured.
- Get a partner — sign up for a coaching/mentor program or group up with a friend and push each other forward.
- Reward yourself — once you finish a task, treat yourself. It does not have to be a biggie, grab a donut.
- Motivate yourself — spend time with positive people in a positive environment. Make a routine, don’t leave before you make your bed can change the whole morning attitude.
- Drop the perfectionism — set reasonable goals.
- Boost your self-esteem — start a self-care exercise and set healthy habits). Gain a new skill, and get out of your comfort zone.
And remember, in the end, it’s only you who cares and who should care.
Happy creating
